A week ago, we had this idea: create a series of posts based on events in the past and imagine how they might have “blown up Twitter,” as the kids like to say, if Twitter had been around then.
You gave us several very good suggestions for ground to cover. The next step was coming up with a format, and we decided on this: creating a cast of fictional mostly Minnesota-based Twitter characters, with fake tweets, to cover the five biggest moments of each event we pick. With that in mind, our first topic is the 1991 World Series:
HRBEK PULLS GANT OFF THE BAG
Average Minnesota guy: THAT’S WHY WE LOVE U HRBIE!!!!
Minnesota guy who makes obvious jokes: Is this wrestling or is this baseball? Who cares, I love it!
Minnesota fan who never sees it the other way: Gant’s momentum obviously carried him off the bag. Good call. #noharmnofoul
BRAVES WIN GAME 4 ON JERRY WILLARD SAC FLY
Average Minnesota guy: JERRY WHO? #ComeOn
Minnesota guy who takes things too seriously: Jack Buck? More like Joke Buck. Pretty close play at the plate to say it’s “gonna be a winner.”
Sports business guy: Jerry Willard wasn’t even on the Braves’ opening day roster and is making the MLB minimum. #value
PUCKETT’S HOME RUN WINS GAME 6
Minnesota fan who thinks mashing on the keyboard is a funny way to show excitement: aklsdjfkl;jasdfkl;jsdfnsdaklf;sdnfkl;aklsdjfdsaas
99 percent of Minnesotans on Twitter: I can’t take another night of this.
LONNIE SMITH/CHUCK KNOBLAUCH PLAY
Legitimately clever Minnesotan: They call Lonnie Smith “skates,” and that was an awkward power stop. #hotsportstakes #hotsportsskates
Minnesotan who had no idea of the future: I will 4ever love Chuck Knoblauch after that play. #rookieoftheyear
GENE LARKIN WINS IT IN THE 10TH INNING OF GAME 7
RandBallsStu: I need a drink and a cigarette.
Carefully composed tweet guy: The first six heart attacks were totally worth the seventh one. WORLD CHAMPS
Going to be sad in the future guy: Winning is fun! Let’s do this all the time!
It’s official: Joe Mauer is on the disabled list after straining a right oblique muscle in Tuesday’s blowout victory over the Royals.
This is obviously a shame for the Twins and Mauer. He has shown real life in two different spurts this season, hitting .394 with a homer and six RBI over a nine game stretch in late April/early May and again over the past 12 games, when he’s hit .362 with 12 RBI. Both of those stretches were immediately followed by time missed with an injury — a handful of games in May with a back strain, and now the oblique injury.
There will be no shortage of #hottakes about his fragility, though it is certainly notable that even after a position switch, Mauer has twice now managed to pull up lame and we’re not even to the All-Star break.
Speaking of the All-Star break: The only positive we can see in this injury, and it’s a warped and twisted silver lining, is that this will end all debate over whether he will be added to the All-Star roster.
Mauer did not deserve a spot this year. Even with his recent surge, he’s batting .271 with a .695 OPS. But the game is at Target Field, of course, and there was certainly a chance that he would have received a sentimental nod. This would have created one of the more awkward situations we can imagine: a good chunk of Twins fans reacting with outrage because the homegrown star of the hometown team made the All-Star team in his hometown game.
Instead, this should end all speculation. Mauer is on the 15-day DL. The All-Star Game is 13 days from now. Mauer presumably can still handle his All-Star Game ambassador duties. But we can now shift our attention to more deserving Twins (Glen Perkins, Phil Hughes, Kurt Suzuki, possibly Brian Dozier) instead of wondering how things will play out with Mauer.